Family Emotional Abuse.

Life has quite an interesting way of ensuring that life will always be something that can be of service to others who need a helping hand or show a ray of hope to someone who can know that there is help and support on hand. I write this blog due to going through Corporate Economic Abuse but currently going through Emotional Abuse and the harsh realities of the devastating impact on the emotional health and psychology of the person who is left feeling broken and wondering why the signs were there all along but never knew what about to hit them. 

I have studied Child Psychology and Psychology in 2006 which due to interested many life experiences that helped me to understand the field of my Law education for which I'm passionate about and will continue this as the psychology or the neurological side of human behaviour as to why perpetrators behave in way that they do. Almost like a sadistic kick out of harming and hurting others is a huge surge similar to a huge dopamine hit that abusers get when they have hold of their victim. 


Many will go through the many years with family that have a healthy respect and truly would never see family members come to any harm and would have been raised with emotional Intelligence or so you may think. Every family has some dysfunction going on in the dynamic but this is where danger can lurk if counselling or traumatic experience isn't addressed starting with previous past issues with the elders who have been emotional abused by a parent/carer. It can be generational. I know I have the wisdom to help others through my experience and the most healing for survivors or someone who is in need of just understand what has happened to them. I won't ever make contact with the known perpetrators of emotional abuse again. 

Emotional Abuse from the Abuser can be as follows:
Isolation keeping you from family gatherings 
Manipulation
Family Monitoring(monitoring of communication) 
Controlling Behaviour
constantly finding fault and in some occasions, Gaslighting 
Constantly Putting You Down Whilst denying they are doing so.
Bullying
Humiliation
Blame & Denial
Threats & Intimidation.
 

Abusers can never or sometimes don't want to heal their inside pain nor do they want to understand that their behaviours have consequences to their actions. Taking responsibility is not what they want to do or will ever accept.

My stepdad who I call my champion until this day who raised me with good emotional intelligence and to speak out if something within the family unit need to be addressed. its sad that when elders pass on the family unit starts to fragment and and habits and behaviours possibly with trauma already playing out with their own mental health are more prone to use emotional abuse to their advantage as a way of coping and control of a situation that they too feel powerless about. 


24th of September 2025, was the start of my nightmare and I will always remember calling to see where my child was only to be told they have my child but I would not see nor would they would never return to their home and the excuses of the perpetrators with their own pain spilling out over the phone as the manipulation and aggression & coercion that I know very well the undertones that been spoken to the child concerned would have had words place in their mouths due to the lack of intelligence of the family member. Leaving me feeling very powerless and unable to provide the basic parental care for my child through lack of communication. Feeling very vulnerable as your feeling of connection, mind of peace and sense of security is diminished aggressively. Thankfully, my training at Law School has equipped me to with stand and understand what emotional abuse is and does due to the experience of domestic abuse as a child where I saw my mum on a daily basis go through the psychological turmoil where she did not know what day it was or what reality was. Police don't want support nor help and neither social services. The Social Care is very poor due to the Health & Social Care Services being very squeezed  by a faulty Government who does not regard that this needs funding so they are now using volunteers instead. Emotional Abuse is a criminal offence yet does not get acted upon by police until it is toon late. I understand that many people are as strong as me with a deep root for justice and accountability from the perpetrators involved that have shattered lives emotionally. 

Emotional Stats in 2025 according to the NSPCC July 2025 report. There were 59,000 police recorded offences. This is mindblowing and also alarming. 

Women's Aid have said that Further to that, women are more likely to experience higher levels of fear and are more likely to be subjected to coercive and controlling behaviours (Dobash and Dobash, 2004; Hester, 2013; Myhill, 2015).


My home was invaded by people I didn't want in my home nor did I ever connect with on a daily basis. The first perpetrator lived with me and on this day had arrived for the collection of items left. Perpetrators often act like a victim where they really should be assessed for psychological assessment due to the patterns and habits plus behaviors show exact mental state. In my home evidence was often there in terms of clutter and often starting to get very untidy and this is a pattern of mental health decline in the life of the abuser who has lost control of the very thing that they held sacred, so I was very keen for the actions of moving out to happen where I could manage to keep my space tidy and clean as I always wanted it be and my mental health stayed as positive as I'm used to. My world crumbled on that day but it's now on the road to rebuilding recovery and I'm doing well emotionally and spiritually. I'm grateful that I have some good friends and supportive network even from people that I didn't know who were watching from the sidelines which puts my faith in humanity. 

The perpetrators don't act alone nor do they come to do create the criminal attack by themselves they come packs which shows the cowardice of the attack upon the unexpecting person that they emotional attack. Most will attack you whilst you are vulnerable and at present I'm currently going through peri-menopause where hormones are rampant and you have not much control over symptoms that the body produces. Perpetrators will always try to find a weak spot and when they do they can use it to their leverage. 

Non family members (Step Parents) that have nothing to do with you or the situation will have you on their radar if you pose a threat to them and their lack of control and unsafe in their own lives especially if their own environments are feeling safe or secure, they too will have mental health issues. These are the people who are connected to the perpetrator but not you, and you will have never even spoken to on a daily basis yet will attach to psychologically damaged and dense pain that perpetrators have as they use this to gain control in disguise of being supportive and useful.

Emotional Abuse are always women and will continue to rise. In the case of my late mum and her experience when she was bullied she had friends or work mates outside the family unit to talk and advise but getting any kind of support was non existent. My mum was also a victim of domestic abuse too. The cycles do impact and continue unless the victim can find the strength to say enough is enough and breaks the patterns so future generations carry on the hurt and pain but sometimes it slips and narcissistic abusers are born because a pain they refuse to acknowledge and they believe that if they are hurting then they will seek out other prey to also cause and inflict suffering and emotional pain. 

I was along with my siblings saw the devastating consequences of my mums fragmented patterns and behaviours with relationships both friends who also carried on the behaviours that were aligned by her mother who was vindictive in having severe control of my mums finances and admirational respect and love. My mum commended respect yet had none for her first born child. 

In my mums day in the 60's domestic abuse and emotional abuse unknown and was a community issue and kept within the family unit, almost something to swept under the carpet and ignored not be discussed or aired out to authorities. Many didn't care or want to be involved due to racial discrimination. The loss of mamy women  due to domestic abuse in the 60's was not recorded and not seen as criminal justice issue. 

To be continued...